Never Gone
by DegrassiLoverForever12
Summary: Deep inside, I know you are, Never gone, never far...


"Clare, will you please open the door?"

She ignored the pleading voice, shaking her head though she knew it was unnecessary – no one had truly seen her for a long time. Not since…

"Clare..." the voice said again, "I know you're in there."

Clare whimpered softly, pressing her cheek against the cool plaster. She had thought she could handle it.

"Clare..."

"I don't want to!" she screamed, her voice breaking. "I don't want to..." she murmured, slumping forward.

"Eli..."

"Please don't..."

"Eli," repeated firmly, "would want you to go."

She fell silent.

"Clare..."

"I know..." she whispered, tracing the natural crevices on her palm, "but I don't know if I want to go..."

"Without him?"

"Yeah..."

Clare's mother fell silent, leaning her forehead against the walnut door. She could wait.

Clare swallowed; throwing another empty tissue box into the bursting trash can before ripping open a new one. Her sobs continued silently, her back seizing keenly against the wall. As her spasms subsided, she stared at the door, clutching the crumpled, freshly used tissue in her fist, and sighed.

The door clicked in liberation. Mrs. Edwards exhaled, relieved. "Clare?" Her voice echoed in the room, silent but for the depressed breathing. "Clare." Her arms outstretched, she took her daughter in her arms. "It'll be alright..."

Clare nodded, as if to say, _if you say so..._

"Everyone's here for you."

She nodded again.

"Adam made me promise to tell you that he's saving dances for you and he won't ditch you for anything… Even a chance to win Deadhand tickets."

She nodded, once again, but not before a giggle escaped her lips.

smiled. "That's the Clare I know..." she proclaimed, squeezing the pensive girl in her arms.

She had tried all night. She smiled, she laughed, and she danced. Admittedly, she did everything half-heartedly, but it was much more than she had done in a long time.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's the last song of the night..." the DJ called through the coupled crowd. Clare looked up, her eyes starting to water. Adam held his hand out, bowing outrageously toward Fiona, who laughed joyously. Clare brought her hand to her eyes, wiping the thickening, uncontrollable stream of tears, and bolted for the double doors as the brassy music began.

_I really miss you, there's something I gotta say,  
The things we did, the things we said  
Keep comin' back to me and make me smile again  
You showed me how to face the truth  
Everything that's good in me I owe to you_

She stumbled around in the dimly lit garden, her vision blurred by the cascade falling from her eyes. She fell back on the brick-lined stairs of the pavilion, and foolishly, she thought someone would catch her before her collapse.

_Though the distance that's between us_

Her head fell against the cold mortar, and she shivered – from the cold, from the pain, and above all, from the loneliness.

_Though the distance that's between us  
Now may seem to be too far  
It will never separate us, _

_Deep inside, I know you are, Never gone, never far_

A warm, fragrant, familiar leather jacket fell onto her shoulders.

She paused, her shaking fingers grasping the lapels of the heavy, black fabric. Rubbing the realistic material between her fingertips, she wondered if she was schizophrenic.

"You're not going crazy."

The voice was wondrous. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the breathtaking sound that she had not heard in months. It sounded exactly like…

"Blue Eyes…"

Eli.

"_In__ my heart is where you are, Always close, everyday every step along the way_" the voice sang softly. It was very convincing, her schizophrenia – it even felt as if the warm, gentle breathing of another person was wafting over her face. "_Every step along the way, even though for now we've got to say goodbye I know you would be forever in my life__,_" the imaginary boy breathed while imaginary, yet extremely solid-like fingers skimmed her cheek. "_In my heart is where you are._"

She sighed contently, tears falling thickly from her eyes, coating her eyelashes. Yet, it was odd – for some reason, the tears never slid off her chin. Rather, when she attempted to open her eyes, it seemed that the imaginary boy was wiping them away. She twitched, blinking quickly to clear her cloudy vision.

"May I have this dance?" the blurry boy said, extending his hand to her.

She hesitated – he sounded so much like him – but nodded, giving her hand to him. Even if it was her imagination, at least it felt like Eli. She sighed, as he lifted her up, the jacket falling off her shoulders as she fell into his arms, screwing her eyes closed tightly as they danced in a slow circle. "I love you," she whispered to the apparition.

_"__I walk along these empty streets; there is not a second you're not here with me__._ I love you."

She murmured contently as his fingertips brushed her jaw line and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Then, she laughed derisively – elated in the arms of her imaginary, but still perfect, Love.

"You're beautiful_" _he murmured as his hand slid onto her heart and stilled, "it touches my foolish heart." The boy paused, pulling her closer to him. "Clare."

She exhaled breathlessly, not sure if the sudden tears that fell out of her eyes were happy or sad. "Eli…" she stuttered, clenching her eyes tightly closed because she was afraid of everything being only a dream.

"Clare," the amazing voice said again. "Clare, open your eyes."

She shook her head, but hugged him tighter.

He laughed. "Lovely… never, ever change_._" His warm hands clasped the back of her neck and the small of her back gently as he dipped her to the floor. "Keep that breathless charm," he whispered as he brought her back up slowly. "I love you just the way you look tonight_._" His lips pressed against her forehead.

"Even when my mascara is running?" she asked quietly, almost sure he was real, though she kept her eyes shut.

"You always look beautiful," he said honestly. "I love you, Blue eyes."

Slowly, she opened her eyes, and the boy she had always loved materialized in front of her. "Eli… you're real," she whispered.

"We're real," he said, grinning widely.

Then, she kissed the real boy holding her in his arms, fully, deeply, absolutely, and never let him go.

**Disclaimer- I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters or any of the songs I used, but I do own the tickets I bought for the Meet and Greet, but can't go to no more, since I got no ride. Bummer? I know.**

**AN- HarHar! What's up with me putting up all these one-shots in 1 week ? ;o I really wanna know ;o Aha anyways I hope you enjoyed it. Oh and I mixed up the lyrics in this just so you know... Oh and if you have some questions about this one-shot since it may be confusing to people my Twitter is Eclareofficial (; Just ask whatever questions you'd like there! Also don't forget to review! xoxo**

**Songs used- Never Gone- Backstreet Boys && ****The Way You Look Tonight**** by Frank Sinatra**


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